The psychological meaning of the fairy tale "The Ugly Duckling"
The fairy tale tells the story of a duck that had laid 7 eggs. Six of the chicks were beautiful ducklings but one of the eggs was different. The seventh egg was larger and did not hatch for a long time. An older, more experienced duck visited the "young mother" and announced that there was a foundling in the yard, e.g. from a family of turkeys. The duck decided to continue the pregnancy and the seventh egg hatched. The little one did not turn out to be a turkey, because it swam excellently like its other siblings. However, it was not as beautiful as a duck. The different little one often heard from other birds, including its own siblings, that it was a very ugly duckling. It heard these critical remarks practically every day. In despair, it left the nest and encountered the hardships of life: hunger, freezing and rejection. The young duckling survived thanks to the farmer's pity. In the spring, it became an adult. The hero of the tale still expected to hear unpleasant comments about his appearance, that he was ugly and that he would be ridiculed. However it learned from small children that it was a beautiful swan. This tale tells us that children from the same family can be very different on another level. If the child is different from the mother on a spiritual level, then the mother can often reject him.
Example I:
A woman has a maiden child. Then a candidate for a husband appears, who is a widower. The condition for marrying a woman is that she gives the child to her mother for upbringing. The young woman decides to marry the widower. Now her role in life is to take care of her stepchildren and be a sexual partner for the widower.
Example II:
A child is ridiculed by the entire family for his fear of water, bathing, swimming. The boy's mother is among the persecutors. The boy is an easy target to laugh at. He carries in him the shame of many people in the family, including the mother. Such a child frees his mother from the feeling that something is wrong with her.
The practice of giving maiden children to the mother's parents or childless aunts and uncles for upbringing is often found in the history of our families. The mother's aggression is the acceptance of giving up her own child.
Psychological meaning of the fairy tale "One-eye, Two-eyes, Three-eyes"
An example of a fairy tale about a cruel mother is the fairy tale "One-eye, Two-eyes, Three-eyes". In this fairy tale, the cruelty of the mother and sisters was directed towards the sister who did not look like her mother or sisters. The mother and sisters treated the two-eyed sister badly, fed her only leftovers from the table, and the girl suffered from hunger. When she cried because of the hunger and ill-treatment, a fairy appeared who gave her an extraordinary gift - a goat. The goat fed her until she was full. When the jealous sisters and mother found out about the two-eyed sister's extraordinary gift, the mother killed the goat nourishing her daughter.
This is a fairy tale that talks about the cruelty of a mother and siblings and about jealousy. The two-eyed sister has two eyes, like most people. Still she is rejected, treated badly, punished for being different.
Example I
A 40-year-old man, the youngest of three siblings. As he can remember, he was beaten several times a week by his mother. Although his father saw the violence, he did nothing to protect him. Both parents came from families where violence was tolerated and at least one child was beaten. The relationship between the parents was very tense and full of aggression. They both had higher education and later quickly separated. The mother fought with the father for money and position in the family. In this family, violence escalated. The beaten boy fell ill with many illnesses and digestive problems. The mother redirected her anger and marital problems towards the youngest child. The history of this family knows cases when the child was damaged by the mother, suffered accidents due to the mother's inattention. The parents divorced and the young man left the family home.
The psychological meaning of the fairy tale "Snow White"
The girl's mother dies in childbirth. The girl's father marries a beautiful woman who becomes obsessively jealous of the girl’s beauty. The stepmother repeatedly tries to kill the beautiful daughter. The mother's behaviour is very dangerous for the stepdaughter as the young girl comes close to death.
Example I:
A 45-year-old educated woman had two children, a son and a daughter. When the daughter began to mature, the mother began to dress her in daughter's clothes, comparing her appearance with her daughter's. She was obsessively jealous of her daughter's beauty. The mother payed for beauty treatments and tried to rejuvenate herself. However it was the son that was the mother's favourite. The mother consulted him about her appearance and beauty treatments. She competed in beauty with her daughter.
Psychological meaning of the fairy tale "The Pig King" by Giovanni Francesco Straparola
The fairy tale tells the story of a royal couple. The king was rich in earthly goods, the queen was a beautiful and spiritual person. Unfortunately, they could not have children. The queen felt powerless due to the lack of offspring and cheated by her husband, they both were sad. When the queen fell asleep in the garden, 3 fairies appeared and gave her a son.
The queen was warned by a fairy that her son's troubles would end in a third marriage. Meanwhile, the queen mother became pregnant and gave birth to the long-awaited son. The royal child turned out to be a pig. The king's initial impulse was to kill the firstborn. The mother's attitude was to protect the child, the queen also protected her son from her husband's aggression. When the pig-prince grew up and wanted to get married, the mother decided that she would not protect her son from the rejection and judgment of women. The prince wanted to marry a specific one. The queen paid the mother of her son's chosen so that the young woman would agree to the wedding (arranged marriage). Unfortunately, the wife wanted to kill the prince right after the wedding, because she really couldn't imagine life with such a disgusting man. The prince killed his first wife to try to get him married. The situation repeated itself once again with another woman. The queen's mother was horrified by what was happening in her son's marriages. The third wife of the pig -prince accepted the prince's otherness and treated him as her husband. This allowed the pig-prince to take on a human form in the marital bed. The young couple had their own secret, which the wife kept during pregnancy. A healthy boy was born. Then the young queen revealed to her in-laws that her husband took on the form of a normal, healthy man at night. Then the old king passed the kingdom to his son as his successor.
The significance of the royal child's otherness
This son of the royal couple was disabled, namely he had a physical defect. The mother wanted to buy love for her son and protect him from the woman's rejection, but this transaction failed. The paid women did not keep their word. The disabled son survived because he recognized the hostile intentions of his first two wives. The third wife accepted her husband's otherness. The young couple had a secret for a long time, which their parents did not know about. The secret of the young couple was a confirmation of their mutual loyalty. After some time, the young wife revealed the secret of her husband's metamorphosis to her in-laws. Then the old king passed the kingdom to his son.
The predatory mother took the form of a poor woman who wanted to marry her daughters to a monster at all costs. The poor woman "sold her daughters" for the promise of wealth.
This fable tells about the mother of the pig-king, who is a very attentive and caring mother.
Now I will tell you about another attitude of the mother, about the mother who knows better. This is a mother who has her own concept of her offspring's life.
Example I:
As a child, a man was often sick, and had numerous food intolerances. Treating them was expensive, required a proper diet, medical consultations, the boy was considered sickly. The parents were against the boy going to veterinary school. They believed that veterinary studies would be too difficult for him. The man chose other studies, which he regretted very much. The only thing that pleased him in adult life was contact with animals, caring for sick animals, also after surgical procedures. The man did not show any weakness here. Both parents redirected their fears to the child, they were convinced that they were protecting their son from excessive effort/failure at studies.
Example II:
A mother sent her daughter to a convent school, even though the daughter did not want it at all. The daughter dreamed of an art school, but she had to go to a convent school with strict discipline, just as the mother wanted. The mother was a respected and influential person at this school. The daughter failed to force her own opinion on any issue that was important to her.
After finishing school, the daughter wanted to go to the Academy of Fine Arts, but her mother told her that she had to go to medical school. The daughter agreed to study medicine and completed her studies.
When the daughter assisted in an operation as a doctor, she experienced clinical death. As a result of this experience, the daughter did not want to work in the hospital anymore. She abandoned medicine and started a family. There were times when she lived in great poverty.
When the mother was on her deathbed, the daughter put on a doctor's coat again and performed simple medical procedures, such as injections, on her. The daughter gave the dying mother the illusion that she was working as a medical practitioner. The mother died and left her daughter an inheritance. In order for the daughter to accept the inheritance, she had to open a hospital for women within 7 years. She could only use the funds she had bequeathed in this one way. The mother managed her daughter's life, even after her death.
Psychological Meaning of the Fairy Tale "The Juniper Bush"
The ancient fear of being devoured and absorbed is projected in this fairy tale onto the stepmother.
A married couple could not have children and the woman asked the juniper bush for help in conceiving a child. The woman became pregnant, gave birth to a son but died in childbirth. The widowed man married another woman who gave birth to a daughter. However, the stepmother hated her husband's son, treated him badly, and supposedly accidentally she cut off his head. She blamed her daughter for her stepson's death. In order to get rid of the body of the murdered boy, the mother cooked soup from the corpse, which she gave to the father.
This fairy tale speaks of the mother's redirected anger and hatred and ways of shifting blame in the family.
Example I of a mother with an alcohol problem
A woman, 48 years old, had a serious problem with alcohol. Because of it she could not support herself in the workplace. Her financial status dropped significantly. When her children asked her to start addiction treatment, the woman attacked her children verbally, humiliated them, and insulted them. The children felt hounded. A few years later, the mother's alcohol abuse was no longer such a big problem, but the woman consistently demanded that her sons confirm her financial status as a wealthy person through gifts and organizational/financial help in many aspects of their lives. The sons bought their mother gifts and trips in the hope that the woman would calm down and feel better. Internally, the adult sons were afraid that their mother would attack them again.
Example II Living with double standards
Another t of a predatory mother is teaching her child to live with double standards, to live in two worlds. The child stops distinguishing which world is real. The couple had two children, a son and a daughter. The marriage fell apart because of the mother's affair with a priest. The mother took the children on joint holidays with the priest, where they looked like a loving family. The mother did not hide, she appeared in public places with the priest. The children were ashamed of their family situation, they were ridiculed by their peers. The mother's aggression was manifested in the fact that she destroyed the possibility of harmonious spiritual development of the children. The mother exposed her children to shame, social ostracism.
Summary:
The predatory aspect of the mother is a real, existing aspect. It may also be disturbed and crazy.
When the father is absent, the predatory aspect of the mother has a greater impact on the lives of the children. When a divorce occurs, the mother's aggression can be redirected towards the former partner, but also to people in the family and to therapists.
The predatory aspect of the mother can also be a physical and mental force that plays an important role in the life of the family. This aspect of the mother is able to resist losses, defend against an attack on the physical/intellectual/financial property of the family.
Anyone interested in the topic is invited to contact the therapists
Prepared by
Teresa Ossowska
Małgorzata Krupińska
